Why Push Further?

I often catch myself wondering why I continue to push for more distance in my races.  Why is it the races that excite me now have "100" or more in their mileage.  I have not ran a 50 mile race yet...in fact the furthest I have gone so far is 50k (31 miles), but there is something about the draw of pushing myself so far beyond my known limitations that is so very enticing and exciting.  Don't get me wrong, I fully respect every distance and the athletes that excell at every distance are amazing.  I would never consider looking down my nose at Ryan Hall, or Ritz because they have never run an ultra.  I would never tell someone doing a C25k (Couch to 5k) that their efforts are meaningless, as that first 5k might as well be a marathon for many.  But for me, even the marathon does not raise my heartrate like it used to. 

Could it be a machismo thing?  Am I trying to prove my manliness with every race of increasing distance?  I wouldnt say that, because I wouldnt question Usain Bolt's manliness (100meter world record holder)...and he probably rarely runs further than 3 miles at a time.  Not to mention that after 15 years in the Army 4 deployments to war-zones, countless fire fights and dealing with miserable conditions (not counting all the training that goes with it), I am not really worried if people don't think I am "manly".  I could crochet blankets for a living and still ooze manliness..lol.

Is it adrenaline?  I am not really an adrenaline junky. I dont huck my mountain bike off of huge jumps, I dont jump off of cliffs higher than 25 feet (into 20 feet of water).  I have never skydived, never bungeed, and I dont ever plan to.  I do ski, snowboard, kayak and white water raft.  But I dont think they fall into "adrenaline" sports when I am out there mostly for the scenery and enjoyment of movement.

Maybe my love for further is a sort of Shakesperean "Romantic" ideal.  Or some sort of biblical quest to push myself to my absolute limit, where I can only rely on God to carry me.  As Jenn Shelton is quoted in Born to Run " I thought if you could run one hundred miles, you’d be in this Zen state. You’d be the f'n Buddha."-Jenn Shelton (BTR).  Maybe that's true, maybe we run long distances, the same as we are drawn to climb mountains because we know in our hearts that 'out there' somewhere in the wilderness, in the suffering and fatigue and beauty is where God resides and he has imprinted on us the desire to find him in creation.  That by pushing through our set, self imposed limits we might experience something that is far beyond the spiritual, more than an idea or a passing thought, but something that is real and clear and true, even if only for a moment and only to ourselves. 

Why do I push further?  Because I want to go somewhere I have never been before.

2012 Training Plan

I spent the night compiling three training plans into one yearly plan.  It took me all night because I did it mostly to learn some of the intricacies of excel. (total sums/ auto date, etc).  So even though I have some pretty ambitious goals, my training calandar is completely doable!  (with the exceptions of two weeks at the end of May where I will be struggling to find places or time to run...but thats okay)

So, without further ado....

WEEK	MON	TUE	WED	THU	FRI	SAT	SUN	MILES
1/1/2012	rest/xc	7		7	4	rest/xc	10	28
1/8/2012	rest/xc	7	6	3	0	rest/xc	12	28
1/15/2012	rest/xc	6	6	7	0	7	rest	26
1/22/2012	rest/xc	rest	6	8	6	14	6	34
1/29/2012	rest/xc	7	6	8	6	rest/xc	16	43
2/5/2012	rest/xc	9	9	7	8	rest/xc	10	43
2/12/2012	rest/xc	8	8	8	7	rest/xc	16	47
2/19/2012	rest/xc	8	8	8	8	rest/xc	8	40
2/26/2012	rest/xc	10	10	8	9	rest/xc	18	55
3/4/2012	rest/xc	10	9	8	9	rest/xc	20	56
3/11/2012	rest/xc	11	11	10	10	rest/xc	16	58
3/18/2012	rest/xc	9	9	9	9	rest/xc	10	46
3/25/2012	rest/xc	9	3	9	rest/xc	7	14	42
4/1/2012	rest/xc	9	3	9	rest/xc	7	15	43
4/8/2012	rest/xc	7	4	6	rest/xc	7	16	40
4/15/2012	rest/xc	7	4	6	rest/xc	7	18	42
4/22/2012	rest/xc	8	5	6	rest/xc	7	20	46
4/29/2012	rest/xc	8	rest/xc	rest/xc	rest/xc	rest/xc	rest/xc	8
5/6/2012	rest/xc	8	4	6	rest/xc	18	24	60
5/13/2012	rest/xc	8	4	6	rest/xc	18	24	60
5/20/2012	rest/xc	8	4	6	rest/xc	13	7	38
5/27/2012	rest/xc	8	4	6	rest/xc	18	24	60
6/3/2012	rest/xc	8	4	6	rest/xc	18	24	60
6/10/2012	rest/xc	8	4	6	rest/xc	27	24	69
6/17/2012	rest/xc	8	4	6	rest/xc	27	24	69
6/24/2012	rest/xc	8	4	6	rest/xc	6.2	10	34.2
7/1/2012	rest/xc	8	3	6	rest/xc	12	12	41
7/8/2012	rest/xc	8	3	6	rest/xc	7	12	36
7/15/2012	rest/xc	3	6	3	rest/xc	rest/xc	26.2	38.2
7/22/2012	rest/xc	3	rest	rest	rest	50	rest	53
7/29/2012	rest/xc	rest/xc	rest/xc	rest/xc	rest/xc	rest/xc	rest/xc	0
8/5/2012	rest/xc	rest/xc	rest/xc	rest/xc	rest/xc	rest/xc	rest/xc	0
8/12/2012	rest/xc	8	8	8	8	3.5	8	43.5
8/19/2012	rest/xc	10	10	8	9	9	16	62
8/26/2012	rest/xc	10	9	8	9	13.1	17	66.1
9/2/2012	rest/xc	11	11	10	10	10	16	68
9/9/2012	rest/xc	9	9	9	9	10	10	56
9/16/2012	rest/xc	11	10	9	7	10	20	67
9/23/2012	rest/xc	5	4	7	4	7	12	39
9/30/2012	rest/xc	7	6	5	4	6	7	35
10/7/2012	rest/xc	4	4			26.2		34.2
10/14/2012	HAWAII BABY							0
10/21/2012
10/28/2012	rest/xc	5	4	rest/xc	4	rest/xc	12	25
11/4/2012	rest/xc	7	6	rest/xc	4	rest/xc	7	24
11/11/2012	rest/xc	5	4	rest/xc	4	rest/xc	12	25
11/18/2012	rest/xc	7	6	rest/xc	4	rest/xc	7	24
11/25/2012	rest/xc	5	4	rest/xc	4	rest/xc	12	25
12/2/2012	rest/xc	7	6	rest/xc	4	rest/xc	7	24
12/9/2012	rest/xc	5	4	rest/xc	4	rest/xc	12	25
12/16/2012	rest/xc	7	6	rest/xc	4	rest/xc	7	24
12/23/2012	rest/xc	5	4	rest/xc	4	rest/xc	12	25
12/30/2012	rest/xc	7	6	rest/xc	4	rest/xc	7	24
								2059.2