Perpetual Forward Motion

"Every marathon has a breaking point where the finish line seems out of reach." 

Truer words were never spoken. Distance running is hard, really hard, and anyone who has ever ran more than a 10k knows this.  I am not making this statement to belittle shorter distances, but lets be frank, running for an hour will not cause you to hit a wall (unless you are running flat out).  Distance running though, when your runs get into the 10's, 20's, 30's and beyond have a definite wall, that takes concerted effort to break through. 

It's funny how much life and running go hand in hand in this manner. 

Before I deployed to Afghanistan last May, I ran a 50k trail race in Colorado.  I remember starting that race with such phenomenal goals, that I was going to finish sub 5 hours, and in the top 20 overall; because all the preparation I had done leading up to that race had gone well.  I had worked hard, was in some of the best shape of my life and had even gone and walked the entire course to get an idea of what I was going to be running through.  I was prepared, mentally and physically for a great day. 

What I wasnt prepared for was 80 degrees and sunny, with a stiff wind that seemed to stay in my face all day.  I wasnt prepared for the subtle way the elevation gains over 50 km strips the energy out of your muscles, and around mile 18 I hit a wall.  There I was, running along, knocking off 9 minute mile after 9 minute mile (which is pretty good on a hilly trail course)...and I came in to an aid station to get a refill of water and some food and as I started to leave, my body decided it didnt want to run. 

Jump ahead to Afghanistan, it is now January, I had just returned from 2 weeks R&R with my family in December and up to this point my tour had been going exceedingly well, every day was getting ticked off the calandar quickly and time was flying bye.  Then I went home, to get a refill on the lovin that I was missing from my wife and the daughters.  Everything was going great, until I was ready to leave and come back to Afghanistan.  My body didnt want to leave the comfort of home, just like it didnt want to leave the comfort of that aid staion.  It took a force of sheer willpower to send myself back off on that plane to Afghanistan. 

And now, here I sit struggling to make every day move a little faster, I know that I am nearing the end of this particular journey, however my mind and body do not want to co-operate.  The rest of the race was a mixture of feeling good and feeling bad, and that is what the last month has felt like for me here.  In fact in most of my life and especially in the area of my faith I have hit patches where I struggle to keep moving forward, because its just easier to sit down and stop and let the aid workers carry you back to your car. 

But like my race, where the only way to get to the end and still respect yourself when you get there is to keep moving.  Keep putting one foot in front of the other in a perpetual forward motion.  I think the apostle Paul was a runner, because he tells us over and over that even though it is hard that we are to endure.  Enduring doesnt mean feeling good, or running fast, enduring is about continuing to move forward no matter how badly it hurts.  Paul compares life and faith to a running race, in particular to a marathon, and he isnt concerned about who wins, he is concerned that you finish well.  And I think that is the point: to finish well.

At mile 28 of my race I received a nice second wind (along with a long downhill and a tailwind) and was able to pick up the pace and finish strong, I ran almost the entire 3 miles in to the finish and was able to even throw my hands up in success because I was able to endure.  I had taken my mind and body places they had never been before in terms of hurt and pain and was able to endure to the end of the race. 

That experience is something that I need to hold on to, as I move forward in this deployment and in the ministry that God has given me.  That I need to just keep moving forward, whether at a run or a walk, to not stop when it hurts, but to push through the pain and to work on finishing well.  This lesson is why my favorite bible verse is Hebrews 12:1 "I will run with endurace the race that God has set before me".  It is so important that we remember that life is a marathon, not a sprint.  In fact, life is probably better compared to an ultra marathon in the terms of the total amount of self inflicted pain that so many of us go through. Self inflicted or not, though, it is important to continue to endure and to finish well. 

Jesus Christ finished well, and his finish line was the hardest part of his life, yet it was what he was put on earth to do.  His exact words were "It is finished."  He knew that he had endured, and that the father was proud of him.  When I finished my race, I knew my wife was proud of me, and when I finish this jouney in Afghanistan, I know that she will come running and leaping into my arms.  But most importantly, when I finish this life, I want Jesus to meet me with a smile and congratulate me for a life well run and for him to say that I finished well.